Cracow's normally sedate airport came to a standstill yesterday afternoon when football royalty touched down on Polish soil.
Spanish superteam Real Madrid are in town to play local bruisers, Wisla Krakow. Although a plucky side, the odds are not stacked in the Poles' favour.
The big names of Real Madrid caused a wave of hysteria as they were bustled through the 'Nothing to Declare' (except their footballing genius) section, resplendent in smart Italian suits and stripey ties.
Bald Brazilian, Roberto Ronaldo led the Spanish team, followed by the almost equally bald Brit legend David Beckham. He was closely followed by flukey Frenchman Zinedine Zidane, who was also sporting a closely cropped haircut.
A couple of the players paused to sign autographs, much to the delight of the fans, but they were soon whisked on by the spoilsport powers that be.
The players were then driven by bus to a swish Krakow hotel, where the boys were advised to steer clear of the enticing galaxy of Polish vodka. Likewise, overindulgence in local culinary dishes such as dumplings and 'smalec' lard dripping was not encouraged.
Beckham's wife, the much maligned popstar 'Posh Spice', was not in town to sample the delights of Poland's second city. However, word has it that Lord Lucan, Henry Kissinger and Elvis Presley will all be flying in to watch the match.
But what, indeed, of the game itself? Will fickle fortune smile on the Poles or will it be just another whitewash for the Madrid marauders? Watch this space for further details.
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