Before departing for the yuletide adventure, Cracow Life spotted a book in the press that was getting the proverbial rave reviews. The book was in fact a compendium of proverbs from around the world, quite literally from Texas to Timbuktu. Some of the examples given were so glorious that snapping up the book seemed essential. Armed with a few pearls from this well of wisdom, one would never again be stuck for that sagacious comment to round off a conversation. Never again would one be taken for a complete and utter cretin....
"As they say in Ireland,'' you could now quip at a crucial juncture, ''never bolt your door with a boiled carrot."
Or how about that Ethiopian corker: "Don't blame God for having created the tiger, just thank Him for not having given it wings."
The book was the creation of a world-renowned authority, a figure who'd been showered with medals for his achievements in linguistics. And as Cracow Life's scribbler was delighted to discover, there were a fair few examples from Poland too.
Having picked up a copy, CL had a chance to have a proper perusal whilst on the plane back over. It was a fantastic book, packed with just the the kind of witty words that CL could later use to pretend to be very clever indeed.
But one thing was nagging. Alongside such Latin American glories as: "Don't call the alligator a big-mouth until you have crossed the river," the Polish proverbs seemed rather lacklustre. Indeed, the Polish entries were desperately dull:
"If they do not open after three knocks, do not wait,” droned one Polish piece.
”The bald man needs no comb,” went another.
And aside from their stultifying dullness, the strange thing was that we at Cracow Life didn't recognise a single one. Not wanting to think we'd bought a book of invented proverbs, Cracow Life showed the Polish entries to a local professor. She also didn't recognize a single one. Now, given that proverbs are defined by the fact that everyone recognises them, it wasn't a promising start. Had the author of the book simply made them all up?
Well, we won't embarrass the author by putting his name up in lights... Instead, we thought we'd have a competition. Can you spot which of the proverbs below are real, and which are the impostors....?!
The beetroot grows twice as boldly in the thunderstorm.
All the goats jump onto leaning trees.
Never trust the bison that behaves like a beaver.
When the dog is eating he doesn't bark, or his food will run away.
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